You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
