Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
