i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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