69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
