Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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