I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
