This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
