I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
