Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
