I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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