I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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