I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
