A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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