I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
