There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
