summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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