THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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