I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
