I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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