I want to stick my p in your. b.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Randomize
