I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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