And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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