im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
