It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
