Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
