Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
