Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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