Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
