playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
