I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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