In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
