At least make sure they are 18
Why
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My pussy is not your playground.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
