Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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