Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
