She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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