my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
