So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
