I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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