wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
