ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
