we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
