Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
