Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize