i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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