I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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