My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This is the high leading the old right now
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
