Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I'm really busy with my period
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