Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It was confusing and full of hummus
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
