i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize