she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
