i jhust puked up my retainher.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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