i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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