Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
