He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
