First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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