when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
