Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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