what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
