You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
