no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
