We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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