hotel room ftw
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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