96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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