see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
that may or may not have been my penis.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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