i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
