He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
