Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's always time for handjobs
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
