im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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