can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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