I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
